In just a couple of days (on Friday) we will celebrate our 5th Adoption Anniversary...wow, how time flies! I am really excited about this milestone. It is one of my favorite days of the year, besides our birthdays.
Five years ago today we were about to take our baby home. We were scared out of our wits but so excited that our fear was overpowered by the thrill of becoming first time parents. If I flash back to that time in our lives I immediately get very emotional. I think of everything that happened in Mozambique to get us to that wonderful day on the 30th of November in 2007.
All the people we met...all of the support we received from our "Maputo" family (imagine we moved there just one year before and didn't know one person in the entire country). Just a year later here we were starting our family in the most incredible way. Luka had instant "cousins, aunts & uncles" that welcomed him with open arms.
Who would have thought that our journey as a family would have started in Africa and Maputo of all places? That thought never crossed my mind growing up in Miami. But life is funny and sometimes it takes you completely by surprise.
So on Saturday we will have a party to celebrate this important day for our family as we do every year. Some of the things we do on this special day is:
- Read two children's books on adoption
- Sing Happy Adoption Day & the four of us blow out the candles
- Ask Luka what "fun" activity he wants to do that day (we will go ride a roller coaster on Friday and eat pizza...his special request)
- Do something in Luka's class. This year we will take cupcakes and read one of the books. It is a good opportunity for the other kids to learn a little about what adoption means...they always have a lot of questions anyway...so this is the perfect "teachable" moment.
Our Adoption or Gotcha or Family Day is about us as a family...not just about Luka. We all have our individual birthdays and those days are all about the individual...but on this day we celebrate the day we became a family, the day Luka came home, the day we became parents...it is even important to Sam to be part of the festivities. No, he wasn't adopted but without that day Sam wouldn't be a little brother or have a big brother.
Over the last five years, living in three different countries, I have heard some crazy comments, questions, etc. But something that people always seem to ask me (once they feel comfortable to ask, and sometimes complete strangers) is if I love Sam and Luka the same?
This question doesn't bother me...many of the other things I have heard during these 5 years bother me a whole lot more...there are many insensitive & silly people out there. But this question I like because I can use it to share my wonderful adoption experience.
So the answer...do I love them differently. YES, of course...any parent that has more than one child loves them differently. I don't love one more than the other, but they are different people with different characters and my relationship is different with each of them. The amount of love is the same...endless. If it wasn't for the fact that Luka was a different color I would forget he didn't grow in my belly. When Luka is in pain or he is hurting I get the same ache in my heart as when Sam is suffering in the same way. When I took Sam to school for the first time I felt the same pride, fear and anxiety that I felt the first day I took Luka to school. In that way it is exactly the same! Luka is my son, just as much as Sam is my son...no more no less.
Like I have said before on the blog...Luka grew in my heart and Sam grew in my belly. I can't imagine my life without either one of them.
So Happy Anniversary to all four of us..in just a couple of days!
Here is a little preview of some signs I have made for the party. I am going with a yellow and green theme this year! I am a little in love with YELLOW these days...such a happy color.
Stay tuned for more posts and photos after the party...I have a lot of work to do.
2 comments:
Well, Meli... the second I saw the link to your post, I came running (or typing!) over here... had to read, and after that, obviously, had to comment... I'm not even sure if this should be the right vehicle for my thoughts... But in any way, girl, here I go!
Congrats on the 5 years... Still remember so clearly running into you and JJ at Game, and you guys were overwhelmed with the prospective of formula, baby food, diapers.. and then you turned on to us, and you had little baby Luka... I remember getting Cesar's outfits for him... one less thing for the vanHerksens to buy... I remember learning from you about the "plumpinut" (hope I'm spelling it correctly, just recall it was some sort of high calorie / high protein formula to bring his weight up to speed!) His first "birthday party" at you guys place, with that poster over the easel you made announcing his first year with your family (so Melissa!!)...
The days at the pool when Paty & I were both preggies with our girls... cousin Max and cousin Luka for Cesar... 'tio' JJ, 'tio' Baas... Oh, boy, lots of memories... You've offered Luka such a loving family, filled with joy and commitment... Happy adoption anniversary to all of you... to JJ, who instantly had to become a father, to you, that, without even knowing, found so much love in your heart that you definitely had to share with more people... and to your little Sam, which I hope to meet in a very near future...
And of course, why wouldn't you love your boys (all 3 of them!) differently! I've got my heart divided in 'sections'... and I love each and every one of my kids differently.. not more, not less, as you said... They're different, and the love they give back to us, moms, is totally different... again, not more, not less... it's their very unique way to express their feelings - and I wouldn't want anything different... love has so many expressions, and a child of ours is our child, no matter what type of 'wrapping' it had when it was 'gifted' to us! A child is a gift, and you've got the best of all deals: your body birthed one child, and yours and JJ's hearts gave birth to your first son... People should actually look up to your example, and how, despite all the adversities, you never stopped loving your first son...
Sorry for the super long comment... I should have just sent you an email, but just felt like leaving my thoughts over here, and share with others what I witnessed, when you became a mommy to Luka... Happy Adoption Anniversary Day! Much love from Los Mirandas!
Raquel, you know you made me cry...what wonderful memories and you guys were there from the first 30 minutes. We went to GAME (Walmart type store) straight from the orphanage! Thank you for this beautiful comment.
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